Last Monday, my better half turned 40. We celebrated by driving home from a family camping trip in the desert, showering, and napping for almost 6 hours. When I snapped awake from the heat and dehydration-induced slumber, I had one thing on my mind: birthday cake.
could have sworn I had more than one 2.5-oz bag of almonds in the house, but of course, during crunch time they couldn’t be found. I used one of the bags of dried almonds my friend Dick had dropped off for an Asian custard recipe. I scanned the almonds before using them. They smelled extremely sweet, almost floral, and in size they were rather runty. The recipe called for ground almonds however, so the wee little nuts were no problem. Asian-market almonds to the rescue!
The ice cream, berry sauce and burning candle did mask the carnage of the broken lemon cake, but by now my husband was awake and asking questions about his birthday dessert.
Susan Cline - email@example.com says
Ha ha ha! This post made me smile. I also like your nail polish color.
Jessica Lynn Perkins says
Ha ha ha! Awesome! That is so funny! I’m glad you guys are still alive! Isn’t it the most frustrating thing when a recipe goes wrong? I hate baking sometimes! It seems like every cake I have made has come out in at least two pieces! Arhg!
omg how crazy! why does it say that they are almonds on the bag if they arent?!?!? but its really good that you didnt get sick from it!!
@ Susan, Thank you! I wish I had jotted down the name, it’s such a nice deep brown.
@Jess, Thanks. I’m glad we are alive too! Two cakes instead of one sounds like it could be a positive thing, but I agree, it can be very frustrating!
@ MissMae, I’m not sure why it wouldn’t say “Apricot Kernels” or “TOXIC IF EATEN RAW” Different labeling standards I suppose, at least now the four of us are safe.
Omg, this sounds like an awesome cake wreck. I was giggling in my cube. Made my Monday. 😀 Glad you two survived!
Great story, sounds like you could have been the first to go from pit poisoning…
Is this how bloggers go? Apricot kernels?
Hendrix – parting/drugs
Cobain – drugs and a gun
Belushi – parting/drugs
Megan – apricot kernels
Don’t go out in your prime. You have to be so careful in the kitchen.
Glad you can laugh about it now.
@ Lauren, Glad to have made your Monday!
@ Anonymous, Apricots are the new silent killer. Beware!
I enjoyed your cake and fire-making adventures. Its a pleasure to read about your life on the outside! I know sponge cakes, those made only with eggs for rising, are difficult to master, but adding that amount of even real ground almonds was bound to make the cake MUCH more obstinant! I think cakes with ground almonds are best thought of as “Italian brownies” so we won’t expect a great height.
All the best,
Astrid H. Nelson
Thanks for the vote of confidence Astrid H. Nelson Of Gooooodness! <3
Heather - Dollarstorecrafts.com says
Aaaah! So hilariously frightening. I love how you told it. Linked up at CraftFail: http://craftfail.com/?p=1127
People used to chow down on apricot kernels all the time. You can see them a lot in old cookbooks. The problem is eating a LOT of them! http://www.ispub.com/journal/the_internet_journal_of_health/volume_9_number_2_13/article/are-apricot-kernels-toxic.html
Thanks Heather! I Love CraftFail!! I’m honored.
And Jana, Yea, I’m sure that baking the cup of “killer almonds” in the oven for an hour helped keep us safe, but in the heat of the moment, you never want to hear, “that was poisonous” when someone is referring to your cooking. A learning experience to be sure.
Thanks for reading!
Tricky Nag says
Fantastic!! And I have no doubt that Nigella would still consider you a Domestic Godess. You attacked with gusto and everyone lived to talk about it.
Mod Podge Amy says
Saw you at Craft Fail – this is hilarious, considering that you weren’t murdered by apricot kernels!
Thanks Tricky Nag I do love Nigella, and will do my best to live up to my domestic goddess title again soon…
and Mod Podge, thank you for reading! It’s good to be alive! Would have beeb far less funny if they had killed us. :^\
Lucky Girl says
that is really, really hilarious!! thanks for sharing!
Actually, I think you could still use the bundt pan, if you line it with parchment, like the recipe says to. Bottom and sides. You just need to do some creative cutting.
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Catherine @craftykaki says
You tried so hard to make a delicious cake. i hate when you work hard on something and it doesn’t work out, it feels like all of that time was wasted.